我忘了和你说再见

转眼间，兔子年过去了，我们迎来了华人最喜欢的图腾---龙。我敢说除了属龙的朋友们不是特别开心之外，可以算得上皆大欢喜，大家都觉得龙很吉利，几千年的传统是根深蒂固的。新婚夫妇或者已经怀孕的准妈妈们更是巴不得自己生个龙子龙女。本人说不上来属龙到底好还是不好，只是我朋友里面的龙儿们，不管是比我小两岁的龙还是比我大十年的龙，个个都不简单。王者的象征，想必也差不到哪里去才是。

今年可以说是我最悲催的一个春节。刚好遇到我才开始工作，原本以为新人是没年假的，所以压根儿没想过回家这念头。谁知第一天看到我经理她就问我要不要请假回家，我真不知该哭还是该笑。现在才来说，飞机票都让人家买光了，于是我下定决心要在吉隆坡过一个平淡寂寞而波澜不惊的年。

放假四天，我还不至于沦落到完全没地方去的地步，还是有很多地方可以让我“窝藏”的，等我藏好了，就算天皇老子都找不到。这次去探望阳，很久不见的老朋友，上次见她她还大着肚子呢，现在女儿都已经快要一岁了。时间真的不饶人，太快了，快得我们还没意识到它存在的时候它就已经从指缝中溜走了。阳的家还是那么宽敞明亮，鱼缸里的小金鱼变成了一条银龙，院子里郁郁葱葱长了许多甘蔗和竹子。房子里只是多了一个吱吱呀呀的小生命，片刻不能安静的，真怀念我们自己小时候那种精力充沛不知疲倦的状态。

原本平静的年，被平平的一个拜年电话打破了。犹如一道流星划过了天际，用短暂锋利的光芒划破了无边的黑暗。我开着阳的小车在花园里面转悠练技术，手机响了，我只看到了+86，后面的区号是陌生的。手机响了半天，我也想了半天，毫无头绪是谁会在年初一的傍晚打电话给我。接电话的时候我刻意的没有说hello，取而代之的是国内通用的“喂”，电话那头传来非常熟悉的但却好久没听到的声音：思维吗？是我。“思维”，本小姐的大名，很少很少有人知道，更少更少有人用。突然间我觉得自己的名字好好听，特别是用平平那么好听的声音叫。距离我上一次听到他的声音已经一年多过去了，他说他很怀念我们一起读书的日子，还是那时候无忧无虑。我自己回头看看，过去的生活，ACCA那段算是一个充满快乐的篇章。除了考试压力之外，其他的事情几乎都不在我操心的范围内。想想曾经以为我们作为注册会计师，会过着类似的生活。岂知今日的大家各奔东西，在各行各业从事着各种稀奇古怪的工作。心中的感慨是说不出的，不知道是什么滋味。

平平说很怀念我这个子期，没有了子期，伯牙的琴也不会再响，就算响了也没有人懂。于是我把偷录的平平的demo拿出来听，谁知道三千年没哭过的我，眼泪非常不争气的在大年初一不住地流。当初说再见的时候，我们都不知道到底还能不能再相见。不过我相信，我们大家都来日方长，一切皆有可能！

龙年，祝愿在世界各地的兄弟姐妹们，大家一切都好。不管身在何方，我们抬起头，看到的都是同一片天空。在苍穹下，能够想起彼此，也就足够了...

Silent night, holy night

Today is Christmas eve of 2011 and it happened to fall on a Saturday which resulted in a long weekend holiday. Yesterday since noon time, I've experienced how horrendous the traffic jam was. Along federal highway,heading towards Midvalley Mega Mall, the cars are crawling like caterpillars. Walking is definitely way faster than stuck in the jam. So I altered my plan to directly head back home after having lunch with friends. I can't imagine how bad it will be when it comes to tonight's countdown time. That's why today I decided to relax at home.

Somebody asked me am i not bored? I was surprised as I don't get it why I should be bored while having a laptop that connects to internet.You really got plenty of things to do and it all depends on how far does your interests go. For a person who is indifferent about everything, even travelling to the most awesome place can't light him up. Yet for someone who loves life passionately, every tiny little drop of the vast ocean of life can make his day.

Recall my Christmas eve during the past few years, I had "silent night" almost every year. I normally hang out on Christmas day after the crazy people are dismissed. As I'm really scared of the hectic crowds, either in China or Malaysia.I'd rather stay at home, have a peaceful mind and devour myself in some Christmas music while enjoy doing something I like. And also, reserve energy for the "happy hour" session tomorrow.

When I went to buy my lunch today I said "Merry Christmas" to the hostess. She hurriedly apologized to me saying that because she is not Christian therefore she is not so aware of Christmas. I told her, not only Christians can celebrate Christmas. Christmas is a season when you show your beloved ones how much you care for them. Irrespective of your religion, your skin colour or your nationality, you are entitled to the joy of the season's greetings.

For Christians,silent night is holy night, and the Jesus Savior is born. I'm praying for a fruitful 2012 ahead. God bless!

想念家乡的味道

重庆人，十个有九个都是吃货。每天都在想，中午要吃什么，晚上要吃什么。身边林林总总的选择让人目不暇接，随口一数，川菜从主食到小吃，美味一大堆。离开家乡这些年，人们不止一次的问我，你想家吗？我的回答总是让人大吃一惊：哦，不太想家，但是想家里的吃的。因为重庆对于我而言，除了家人之外，值得我留恋的就只有美食了。家人可以每天在网上见面，但是对美食的想念不能单单靠“看”来解决，望梅止渴的结果是越望越渴。

一个人住在新家，百无聊赖，朋友们要么忙工作要么忙考试，每天没事在家翘脚的除了我没几个。我独自一人在这遥远的Damansara，远离我熟悉的Sunway，我的圈子，难免有点寂寞。这个时候就会不由自主的想念家乡的味道了。何洁送我的萝卜干我还很不舍的留着2包，以备不时之需。昨天晚上躺在床上，突然想吃川菜，这种凭空而出的念头曾经有过，那时候我就悲催的爬起来看电脑里面川菜的照片。而现在，越来越多的川菜馆在吉隆坡拔地而起，望梅止渴倒是不必。但问题是，要找到几个志同道合能吃辣椒的友人实属不易，马来西亚人对辣椒的免疫力不是个个都像重庆人那么厉害，而且本地菜肴辣的感觉不一样，所以对于他们而言是蛮大的挑战。

减轻我的思念之情其实有很多途径，除了吃川菜之外，还可以吃川味的零食。现在的中国人是越来越会做生意了，在吉隆坡开了网店售卖国内的各种零食小吃以及调味品。不用我说你都猜得到，老干妈系列是必不可少的，还有各大品牌的方便面，米线，粉丝等等。我最爱的白家方便粉丝以1块9一包的价格高居方便面的榜首。我不记得国内卖多少钱了，好像是2块钱人民币吧，坐个飞机过来，价格就翻倍了，不过也好，可以一解我相思之苦。50块免费送货，我随便逛了几圈点了几点购物车就已经一大堆东西，早就超过50块了。网购有时候比真实的购物更加花钱如流水，因为你边看边点，你根本不会意识到购物车里已经有多少东西了。不像现实生活中，如果你的手推车已经满了，相信你肯定会收手。

美食没有绝对的，只有相对的，每个人都会觉得自己从小吃到大的食物是最好吃的。我的味蕾比较多元化，可以接受各种各样的食物，对于其中的某些也是有偏好。然而我觉得今生今世无法改变的，就是对家乡味道的执着和永恒不变的想念。

The last month of 2011

Out of sudden looking at the calendar, it has come to the last month of 2011. Time is really scary, by the time we have time to look at it, it's already gone long ago. Every year end I will do my accustomed reflect of the whole year. Here comes the question that i'm most unwilling to face. What have I done during 2011?

The first half of 2011 was all about sweat and stress. I experienced my final exams of ACCA, and thank God I made it through. Starts from June onward, I've been really enjoying life, meanwhile had a two-month post-exam nervous period waiting for my final result.Backpacked to Bangkok, which realised my dream of at least every year visit one place that i've never been to. My little escape was always sweet and unforgettable and i've already started to miss that feeling although it was only couple of months ago.

I went home after my Bangkok trip, stayed for one month, kept on dreaming of the result release date. I guess that's because i've carried too much on my shoulders. Not because i'm willing to, it's just life, we've got no choice. Fortunately I didn't let everybody down, my hilarity reached climax after 22nd August. After that God gave me a huge joke when i started my job hunting. I don't think words can describe how terrible i felt when i'm forced to face the truth that my nationality really got me tons of problems. My first choice of employment didn't even give a damn on my CV. Being a winner for so many years, it was really awful to be knocked down by reality. But sometimes we have to make some sacrifices and surrender. Life is not all smooth without a hitch and the storms make it more unexpected and challenging.

Finally, I guess God has given me what He thinks is the best for me. He taught me to forego those which are beyond my reach and grasp everything and every moment i'm able to control.I already adjusted my mentality to a "going to start work" mode, however, suddenly I got one more month to arrange my new life in Bandar Utama. I have no complaints for this. Seriously i guess i need more preparations, i need to train my strength, sharpen my weapon and polish my armour as I've been in the "cease-fire" mode for so long and January 2012 would be a perfect commencement of new phase of life!

Christmas is around the corner,I can smell it in the air everywhere i go. When i think back,i really cherish every Christmas gift i received through the years. I feel delighted and can't help of smiling when i heard the Christmas songs in the shopping malls. The Christmas trees are as great as before and they are gonna be better next year!

If 2012 is to be the end of world, let it be, live in the moment and not to worry about tomorrow!

步步惊心

俗话说，演戏的是疯子，看戏的是傻子。如今我便做了一件自己不常做的傻事，追一部名叫《步步惊心》的电视剧。没日没夜的几天下来，我自己也傻在其中，泪点超低，被白赚了几公升眼泪。话说穿越剧倒也不是没见过，好多年前变看过了《穿越时空的爱恋》，如今也不大记得具体的情节，只知道穿越到古代的现代人都可以凭着对历史的了解和比古人聪明的大脑混得不错。若曦是真的混得不错，可是这一路看来，我感慨万千，心中除了痛，还是痛。

面对温柔体贴的八爷多年来的付出，女孩的心难免被俘获。可是若曦因为知道历史，她因为爱而要求八爷退出皇位的争夺，然而老八多年来被冷落，压制在内心的对权力无法抵挡的欲望令他毅然选择放弃了若曦。我没有恨他，说白一点，男人嘛，总该是要以事业为重的。就算他是活在今天，事业与爱情之间，事业也应该是摆在前面的。只是觉得有些遗憾和无奈，现实残酷无情的逼着我们做出一些我们不情愿的选择。

四爷是不多话的人，深沉内敛但是却在小事上看得到他的细心。他为了若曦可以什么都豁出去，伤在若曦身上他的心会更痛。一个这么严肃认真的人肯在一个女人花这样的功夫，就连石头心肠都会被感动吧。看到他为若曦做的一切，我的眼泪一个劲儿的流。说是羡慕吧，也有，说是怀念吧，也有，感慨也有，感动也有...

天朝的皇宫，在里面有多难生存，恐怕是现代人难以想象的。宫里的人多嘴杂，作为一个小奴才真的需要谨言慎行。我可以想象那种说一个字，做一个动作都要经过深思熟虑的情形是多么的熬心。难怪若曦觉得紫禁城是个牢笼，在待了二十多年之后，终于忍不了要去寻求原本属于自己的自由。若曦虽然聪明伶俐，处事周全圆滑，可是她也是个性情中人，对朋友肝胆相照，对爱情勇敢执着，她的感性是最终让她痛苦的原因。或许是因为有太多的人和事是她放不下的，这才注定了雍正登基之后，她也无心享受这最后难得的胜利和幸福。她的固执倔强使她把许多难处都憋在心里，宁可雍正误会，宁可牺牲掉幸福，去换回她想要的自由。然而，你我都清楚，自由并不等于幸福，看你自己怎么想罢了。引用戏里一句话：凡事没有对错，只是立场不同而已。

回头看步步也让我做了不少功课，历史方面，文学方面，让我顿时间觉得，不知道从何时开始，我对祖国的渊源文化已经那么疏远了。曾经烂熟于心的诗词歌赋，如今只是能偶尔记起来几个片段，再也没有心思去做当年的那个所谓的文艺青年，好久没有醉心于文学的魅力，笔下也日渐无光。

人生若只如初见，那该多好啊，便没有了后来这一切的冤孽...

我的纪念日

今天是我自己的纪念日，没有人知道，没有庆祝，看似平凡的日子，却是我自己人生的一大里程碑和转折点。回首往事总是让我毛骨悚然，时间真的过得太快了！抗日战争都打出来了，我呢？
明天，将是我的第一仗，希望我能发挥出水平，把它打得漂亮！随时提醒自己，身边的酸性人物很多，“敌人亡我之心不死”，要提高警惕睁大眼睛分辨是非黑白。如果一些人的嘴巴里非要说出负面的话，我虽然没有权利叫他闭嘴，但是我有权利选择不听！静静的，听上帝的训导，更多的和祂交流沟通，保持灵魂的平静，坦然的面对一切，上帝爱我，加油！

Paintball, Painball

Yesterday was my first paintball experience,I've heard about this game for long and I guess it was something like real person version of Counter Strike. But I've neglected some parts which ended up made me suffering.

The paintball field was at Taman Pertanian, Shah Alam, the so-called Agricultural Park of Malaysia. Besides plenty of green and an artificial lake, there was nothing much. The paintball field was pretty big though, almost a whole small mount.There were a few tents down the hill, for us to leave our stuff and equip ourselves. I'm following a friend who is a regular player, they have a team made up of 10 players,only 1 lady among them.

Gradually I was able to figure out why the gender proportion was so unbalanced:the stupid gas gun alone is about 3 to 4 kg with pallets. How do u expect a lady to carry it to run and hide agilely using a single hand? It was extremely after you are fully equipped as you can't really breath properly under the mask and with the vest and spare pallets on you you really look like a penguin. Only after a few seconds of running under the sun you will be sweating like an ice-cream. My spectacles gave me a lot of troubles again, it was not so comfortable wearing specs with the mask together and your breath will bring about fog on both your specs and mask.

Our first game was against an all-Malay-male team which everybody looked like bandits. I was so scared that they all will aim me as target (coz obviously i'm the only inexperienced idiot there). Therefore I told them frankly it was my first time, i'm a very very fresh newbie to beg for their compassion. Our commander decided our strategy and each person had a role to play. My job was to hide inside a pit,aim at our flag and shoot whoever bastard who wanted to take our flag.

After both teams are positioned, the judge shouted 10 seconds count down, when the word "start" came out from his mouth. I ran like mad with my heavy weapon towards my position. When I reached the pit, oh sh*t, it was full of mud and dirty water inside. I couldn't hesitate at all as enemies are approaching. My choice was simple, jump in or die.So there I was, in the pit, putting my elbow and gun on the table-like board, hiding behind the main wooden board in front, peek occasionally on what was happening.I only heard people were shouting and the sound of bullets flying. I could hardly saw any enemies but gradually there were people who were shot and out for this game. I only shot less than 20 bullets and suddenly i felt there was something like a pinch at my back, i was shot, luckily on my vest. Otherwise I swear I would be crying as the tiny pallet really can make you bleeding, it was really "painball".

I'm the lucky newbie as my friend told me, it's very rare for a first-comer to play a few games and was not hit on bare skin at all. I was a bit terrified to see my team mate's wound, it was as big as your thumb and not only bruised, but literally bleeding. I suddenly feel sad for the real soldiers as weapons are really ruthless, let alone under the real war scenario which was really kill or to be killed.

It was a unique experience and paintball was classified by me as "not-for-lady" activity.I can't imagine what will happen if it really hits on your ......balls? :p