Yesterday, 22nd August 2011, is the day to be enshrined.I got my result for the final 2 papers of ACCA, I passed both, which literally means I graduated and I am ACCA affiliate now! Since then, my status has changed from a full-time student to be an auditor/accountant going-to-be.
I burst into tears when I saw the result. It was quite close to a howl which came from the bottom of my heart as I totally lost control. I could not remember when was the last time I cried, either because of my studies or my mum or any relationship issue. I've been holding back for so long, 3 years, I must admit I devoted a lot to ACCA although I still managed to enjoy life whenever I got chance. I guess I have never treated study so seriously in my 25 years life. But for something like ACCA, I really showed my commitment, I held its "hand" and said "I will" with no regrets.
That few minutes I spent wailing was the most unforgettable moment in life. I guess those two 58 marks means more than they look. The scene of July 2008 appeared again and it was so fresh and real just like yesterday.I was totally overwhelmed and I really drenched myself in the bitter sweet memories through the years. After I calmed down, then only I realised I should inform Nora about this good news which she has been waiting for years.
Nora was still in hospital and she appeared to be extremely calm. I asked her to give a guess on how the result is. And after I told her that I graduated in a unmindful tone, she said she knew I could do it, full of proud and confidence. I really thank God that I didn't let her down, or else I think I may kill myself for being such an unfilial daughter.
The ending of one phase is the starting point of another. After yesterday my personal goal has totally changed. I just started to hold the pen to write another page of my life. It's going to be a brand new world and a brand new me. I feel like I've grown up overnight, or I should say, forced to. Anyway, I'm quite look forward to what is waiting for me. Full of aspiration and ambition, just want to prove myself to the world.
Here I am, this is me, the rest is still unwritten...
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
寄生虫生活倒计时
今天不知怎么的，把博客换成了黑色，黑色从来都不是我的颜色，不是我的性格，但是可能此刻只有黑色才能表现出我的心情吧。中午跟朋友吃饭的时候，她不经意的提醒我，成绩还有不到一个礼拜就要发布了，我觉得好像一大桶冰水从头上倾盆而下。
下个星期一，如果pass了，就意味着我的寄生虫生活的终结，如果fail，也要看fail几科，我最讨厌这种在黑暗中盘算未来的感觉，而且未来还有多种可能性。每一种可能性都是充满了未知，跟我现在吃了睡睡了吃的寄生虫生活而言，真的是形成了鲜明的对比。
其实自己已经比好多人都幸福了，二字头过了一半了，还在当寄生虫。虽然当初有人说我是蛀虫的时候我很不屑，觉得他要么是羡慕，要么是嫉妒，要么是自己没那个读书的资质，想当寄生虫都当不了。可是如今，我感觉我自己真的是走到一个十字路口。面对未知，我有点彷徨，就像当初自己也清楚知道的，当ACCA这盏明灯熄灭的时候，可能还是有些迷惘的。
我没想到自己会因为这么一件事情而郁闷了一大半天，没什么心情，没什么食欲，当然的，也没什么激情。我自己也知道，这绝对不是一个即将踏入工作岗位的年轻人应有的状态。或许我真的需要强心针吧，现在在极度焦虑的情况下，懒散也是必然。
好好过我剩下5天的寄生虫生活，等到下个星期一，当一切揭晓的时候，不管结果怎么样，我都将会是另一个我！
下个星期一，如果pass了，就意味着我的寄生虫生活的终结，如果fail，也要看fail几科，我最讨厌这种在黑暗中盘算未来的感觉，而且未来还有多种可能性。每一种可能性都是充满了未知，跟我现在吃了睡睡了吃的寄生虫生活而言，真的是形成了鲜明的对比。
其实自己已经比好多人都幸福了，二字头过了一半了，还在当寄生虫。虽然当初有人说我是蛀虫的时候我很不屑，觉得他要么是羡慕，要么是嫉妒，要么是自己没那个读书的资质，想当寄生虫都当不了。可是如今，我感觉我自己真的是走到一个十字路口。面对未知，我有点彷徨，就像当初自己也清楚知道的，当ACCA这盏明灯熄灭的时候，可能还是有些迷惘的。
我没想到自己会因为这么一件事情而郁闷了一大半天，没什么心情，没什么食欲，当然的，也没什么激情。我自己也知道，这绝对不是一个即将踏入工作岗位的年轻人应有的状态。或许我真的需要强心针吧，现在在极度焦虑的情况下，懒散也是必然。
好好过我剩下5天的寄生虫生活，等到下个星期一，当一切揭晓的时候，不管结果怎么样，我都将会是另一个我！
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Random thoughts
Have been really busy enjoying my day-off recently. You won't believe if I tell you that my schedule is pretty packed while not attending any class at all. CEO is performing her job now, trying her best to entertain people and get entertained. It's not an easy job and so far I'm not tired of it yet as I still have the enthusiasm and energy.
However, an over frequently hanging-out life does cause some problems. Sometimes you can only calm down and meditate when you are alone and that's why most great people are lonely. I guess I have overlooked many things in life and it's very likely to make wrong decisions, if there is any.
I remembered I have talked to God about certain issues during my stint of ACCA studies. God was very supportive as he always is, he gave me everything I asked for. Now the end of my student life is just around the corner. Again, God keeps his words, and I believe things will only get more and more smooth. (Oh,fcuk,I deeply feel that my English has deteriorated since I finished my exam!) Suddenly feel a bit regret although I swear I'd never do so. I reckon I've been enjoying too much and wasted my precious time which should be utilised more wisely. The stack of unread SA magazine and the my current snail reading speed is the perfect evidence.
Now I've grown up, or I assume so. Many things we have to face it with sense rather than letting emotions to take control. But at the same time it means we have lost some boldness and thoughtless which should belong exclusively to youngsters, which literally means we are no longer young, unwillinglly, yet we have to admit.
A hell of mess is going on, a even bigger mess is yet to come, get ready and enjoy the thunder in the storm!
However, an over frequently hanging-out life does cause some problems. Sometimes you can only calm down and meditate when you are alone and that's why most great people are lonely. I guess I have overlooked many things in life and it's very likely to make wrong decisions, if there is any.
I remembered I have talked to God about certain issues during my stint of ACCA studies. God was very supportive as he always is, he gave me everything I asked for. Now the end of my student life is just around the corner. Again, God keeps his words, and I believe things will only get more and more smooth. (Oh,fcuk,I deeply feel that my English has deteriorated since I finished my exam!) Suddenly feel a bit regret although I swear I'd never do so. I reckon I've been enjoying too much and wasted my precious time which should be utilised more wisely. The stack of unread SA magazine and the my current snail reading speed is the perfect evidence.
Now I've grown up, or I assume so. Many things we have to face it with sense rather than letting emotions to take control. But at the same time it means we have lost some boldness and thoughtless which should belong exclusively to youngsters, which literally means we are no longer young, unwillinglly, yet we have to admit.
A hell of mess is going on, a even bigger mess is yet to come, get ready and enjoy the thunder in the storm!
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