扑克脸

有朋友在面子书上感叹，为什么这个世上有那么多的扑克脸？我想可能是因为大家都害怕吧，对人类的不信任和对大环境的恐惧感，内心的不安和惶惑只有靠一张扑克来遮掩。白天规规矩矩的做事做人，晚上如果有机会，可能会在网络上偶尔显露一下自己的真实面目。前一秒钟的带着面具的道貌岸然，可能在转眼之间崩溃，取而代之的是一个赤裸裸的灵魂。原始和本性显露无疑，那么直白那么朴实，不管是好是坏，都是最纯最真的自我。

扑克有54张牌，但是人却不止有54张脸。识时务者为俊杰，见人说人话，见鬼说鬼话，几乎已经成为最基本的生存守则。每个人都生怕别人知道自己葫芦里卖的是什么药，似乎只有保持神秘感，才能保持别人对你的兴趣。或者是说，社会要求人类在不同的时候扮演不同的角色，在父母面前是好儿女，在配偶面前是好老公好老婆，在孩子面前是好父母，在情人面前是罗密欧/朱丽叶，在上司面前是奴才，在下属面前是皇帝。可能父母永远没有机会看到你当奴才的时候，老板也永远不知道你比莎翁还浪漫。

这一切似乎已经成了理所当然，每个人都在默默遵守着这个规矩，从来没有人会质疑。所以最终的结局是，不管你愿意与否，别人对你的了解都只是N分之一而已，人家只能以人家看得到的你那一面来评价100%的你。所以根本不要妄想一个人会完全了解你，就算是你的灵魂伴侣也好，相信都不是百分之百。换句话说，可能真正100%的你摆在你自己面前的时候，你自己都会恶心得无法接受，应该觉得无地自容才是，所以最好还是用你的扑克脸把那些肮脏丑陋的部分藏起来吧。

Can't read my can't read my, no he can't read my poker face, she's got to love nobody...

Waiting is torturing

This is not my first time to waffle on my blog on the exam result day, the only difference is this year I haven't got my result yet until now. I've been waiting for the stup*d email for 3 hours and it never comes. The lame ACCA website is down due to overload. My phone keeps on ringing, everybody is asking me how it is yet I couldn't give them an answer! Hearing about friends' success and failure while waiting for my own destiny in the dark is seriously not fun.

My initial plan is, after getting result at 1pm, either happy or sad for 1 hour, then go to MCO to book my revision class seat and probably have a feast for dinner, either to reward myself or to release tension. However, since a few days back, my luck was not with me: I was locked in the sitting room and it costs me quite a fortune, my house internet broke down just one night before my result is released. I don't know what do all these augur. Just pray hard for the best!

I'm looking forward to my reward which is a backpacking trip to either Bangkok/Ho Chi Minh City/Phuket and today is the last day of the promotion. If I can't get the result by today then the whole thing is gone. God bless, I know you love me!

欲哭无泪的元宵节

今天是正月十五，元宵节，又是跟家人团聚的日子，我又再次没得团聚，没得团聚是小，但是今天发生了一件超级倒霉的事，我担心了无数次的状况终于出现了---我把钥匙锁在了房间里！

家里空空如也就我一个人，穿着熨得笔直的衬衫和西装裙，拿着我的OL包，傻傻的望着墙壁，不知道该怎么办。室友全部都在很远的地方，不可能及时赶回来救我；学校今天是第一堂课，几十个学生已经坐在教室里了，老师是唯一一个不能翘课的。老王叫了一个开锁匠飞车来我家救我，20分钟之后，人是来了，带着工具，第一句话就是：开一个锁90块。我听到差点没晕过去，但是我大脑已经丧失了思考的功能，没办法，只能默许。他三下五除二就搞定了我家的大门两个锁和我房间的锁，会算术的人都知道3*90=270。是的，就这么杯具的，270块长翅膀飞走了。

不幸中的万幸是，开锁匠开车送了我一程去学校，顺便去取钱给他，270块，你真的是要我的命，多少节课的辛苦就这么去了，瞬间化为乌有。这个时候才真正知道什么是“挣钱犹如针挑土，花钱犹如水推沙”。到了学校，我迟到20分钟，在跟学生们解释了理由之后，大家都对我深表同情，也是真的只要稍微跟我“通感”一下都会知道我有多郁闷，虽然我是一直在苦笑着诉说这一切，但苦笑是因为哭不出来。。。

打电话给老妖精诉苦，好像很久没跟她诉苦过了，不知道是因为没什么苦还是我已经习惯了。突然之间觉得有点累，面临21号巨大的压力，一个人默默承受，不管是怎样的结果，这一切都得要继续。真的希望6月能给这种生活画上一个句号，好像走了太久，有些厌倦了，不是厌倦沿途的风景，而是厌倦没有尽头没有终点的迷茫。一个人的生活可以过得糊里糊涂，有时忙碌有时懒散，有时随心所欲。但是老妖精今天说，我表哥最近很忙，晚上1,2点才回家，他老妈竟然还为他守门，熬鸡汤给他补身体。我说我在这里半夜3点不睡觉也没见鸡汤在哪里，习惯了这种凡事都“自己保重”的生活，不知道这叫所谓的独立还是叫可怜的孩子没人管，算了不想去想这些。

羡慕那些有家人在身边的孩子，但是又不愿舍弃这自由飘荡的生活，我自作孽，活该！

神马都是浮云

沉睡了千年的梦

沧海桑田没人懂

斑驳的琴弦是为谁拂动

尘封的往事被谁触碰

Rap：

遥想当年征战沙场

金戈铁马箭在弦上

英雄气概无人能挡

马啼嘶咧尘土飞扬男儿壮志守边疆

伊人在远方盼望郎君何时还乡

不经意穿越时空

久违那饭香茶浓

滴泪的烛火眷恋着西风

满腹的怅惘不眠三更

Rap：

遥想当年征战沙场

金戈铁马箭在弦上

英雄气概无人能挡

马啼嘶咧尘土飞扬男儿壮志守边疆

伊人在远方盼望郎君何时还乡

一切都已成过往

不朽也会被遗忘

权势不过梦一场

收拾行囊速返乡与伊人共享佳酿

所谓的功名利禄都只是乌托邦

This holyshit for SG958 killed millions of my brain cells and it was "The holy mother of Christ" according to somebody.

Rabbit year, good year!

Didn't notice that more than a month has passed since my last post. Lazy as I've always been, blogging seems to be the last on my "to-do list" especially during festival season.

Finally the year of tiger has gone, phew, it was not a very good year for me, but thank God that I still managed to get through all my papers. Rabbit year should be more merciful and tender compared to the vigorous tiger which myself represents. At least I had a good beginning---4 days sweet escape+5 star backpacking experience in Malacca. Thanks to MCB, who was my tour guide+driver+body guard for 4 days, I really appreciate that and it was wonderful to meet your family, they are amiable and lovely and they made my CNY not lonely.

11 days holiday seem to finish too soon, unwillingly, I'm back to school again. I struggled like hell this morning to get up early, knowing that there would be a kit kat waiting for me in class. Here you go, there really is. But another 10 fellows in the class are also having it which I don't really like. However, I've decided that my new hobby is to collect Kit Kat, see how many I can get after this semester. I guess I love Kit Kat! =)