往事不堪回首月明中

转眼又到了年底,我又该开始我的年终总结了.考试结束已经有好几天,我却比考试之前的总复习还要忙得夸张,似乎只有每年的6月和12月才有时间去见见朋友,出去散散心.有考试压在头顶,就算是出去玩,心也是散得不彻底.

那天看到朋友facebook的status:2010 is ending soon, what have you done?我觉得看到这个问题的时候心好痛. 这一年里面我做了什么?不知道,读书吧,pass了3科,12月的这两科要等明年2月才出成绩,希望也是个P吧.然后呢?读了几本小说,认识了几个新朋友,失去了几个老朋友,写了几首歌,剩下的便是对生活中点滴的领悟了.我讨厌每次盘点的时候的那种捶胸顿足,为什么我什么都没做就又过了一年?于是便在新年伊始的时候憋一口气,害怕"yesterday once more",但是无一例外的,往事肯定会重演.我的热情不会超过三分钟,杯具.

都已经几岁了,这样下去也不是办法,HL要走了,没人再像妈妈一样追在我屁股后面叫我乖乖读书了,不过既然是最后的学生时代,我觉得还是要让它辉煌一下,不要留下遗憾.这样单纯可爱的日子以后永远不会再有,想到就觉得有点伤感.但是我应该知足了,懒散迷茫了那么久,现在也该醒了吧.未来在招手,不管我愿不愿意,它总是会来,那么我还不如开开心心的迎接它.

朋友说我脑袋里面的弯弯太多,凡事都想太多,我不知道是好事还是坏事.神经大条的人没那么敏感,也没那么容易受伤害,可以从思考的层面上说,他们可能会错过很多值得去冥想的东西.但是想太多的又没地方发泄的人容易疯掉,比如我们的安娜.考试之前总会做很奇怪的梦,梦到那些不该梦见的人和事,尘封在岁月里已久的不该翻阅的记忆,通通在我面临考试压力的时候跑出来.以后我要是有机会当电影导演,那么我自己的梦将是绝佳的剧本.

假期两个礼拜说长不长说短不短,我的"档期"排得很满,很多有意义的事情在等着我,我熬了半年,也就最期待这两个礼拜,好好的放松,以一个全新的自我迎接新的一年,迎接最后的挑战!

不可能的明天

睁开我双眼 往事又重演

拨动我心弦 痛彻了心扉

上锁的房间 独自想念

在绝望边缘 梦最终幻灭

所有都沉淀 瞬间变成灰

心中的冬天 悲伤无限

那么远 你走得头也不回删掉昨天

这么多年 剩下我独自幻想不可能的明天

定格了时间 不敢再向前

在我的世界 你就是一切

这样的梦魇 没有终点

那么远 你走得头也不回删掉昨天

这么多年 剩下我独自幻想不可能的明天

你走了 留下我 和我的思念那么多

浑浑噩噩要怎么过

那么远 你头也不回删掉昨天

这么多年 剩下我独自幻想不可能的明天

When you are old

When you are old and gray and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire,take down this book,
And slowly read,and dream of the soft look,
Your eyes had once,and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true;
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur,a little sadly,how love fled,
And paced upon the mountains overhead,
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

---To Faye Wong, you are legend...

God bless the people in China

During my stint in Malaysia, I travel back home almost every year. Each trip would teach me some lessons in different perspectives. I was back in KL last week from a short visit to celebrate my grandpa's 90th birthday. I had a shock in my life during the 7 days back home, the CPI in China is so freaking high!!!

I have no idea how many rich people exist out there, but I couldn't help pondering how big is the percentage among the population. Let's not mention the hiking real property price which is obviously just a big bubble and I'm waiting for the day it bursts. Normal daily consuming products are so expensive that makes you really want to suicide with the level of income you earn. Here I'm gonna show you some examples:

Story1:

My friend in KL asked me to check out the price of honeysuckle(金银花) for her as it's sold at RM 80/kg in KL. She said it's originated from China therefore the price should be lower there. So I went to supermarket to ask about it. To my surprise, the assistant told me RMB 22 per 50g which literally means RMB 440/kg. I thought something was wrong with my ears so I scrutinized the price tag carefully, yep, it's written there clearly, no mistake. I took a photo of the price tag as evidence that the people in China are suffering in hell as the tiny little flower used to make tea would cost such a fortune.

Story2:

I was doing grocery shopping with mum in Carrefour, passing by the fruits counter, bearing the risk of getting another heart-attack, I took a glimpse at the price again. OMFG! Guess what, banana, pisang in Bahasa, it's the cheapest fruit here as everybody can afford to eat fried banana pisang goreng everyday. However, down there, it's selling at RMB27++ for a bunch! I bet that's the reason why people don't eat pisang goreng there.

Story3, Miscellaneous

McDonald Mcflurry ice-cream: RMB 10

Wasabi green pea: RMB 89 (this is really ridiculous)

Seafood buffet (with the fried kuey teow size of prawn): RMB 170++

Starfucks: RMB 40++

Fruit juice at small stalls: RMB 28++

Milk powder/tin: RMB 300++

Short-sleeve no brand T-shirt: RMB 400++

Hairtail fish: RMB 60++

Egg: RMB 16/kg (means RMB 1++ per piece)

...

the list goes on

Housing price, this one you'd better not see, it's hazardous, bad for your eyes. For many areas, the price for 1 square metre has exceeded RMB 10000. I wonder how many people can afford them yet the real property market is still so hot, it seems like everybody is buying. Is there any element of speculation? Who are the real buyers behind? I don't know and I don't want to know.

Malaysia is paradise, people here, please stop complaining and cherish what you have.

May God bless those in China, Amen!

我是白痴

朋友们都说我糊涂

在暧昧关系中痛苦

他不是不知道我的无助

但是好像什么都不在乎

爱一个人为什么这么辛苦

把自我抛在脑后全都不顾

头破血流却毫不在乎

不去计较也义无反顾

我是爱情里的白痴

憧憬童话中的故事

默念忘不掉的名字

不想面对残酷的现实

我是爱情里的白痴

期待不可能的故事

寻找到不了的地址

不愿看清悲剧的现实

这样的感情很盲目

单方面傻傻地付出

我也不想继续执迷不悟

却是深陷泥潭没有退路

我只是渴望得到你的保护

并没有太多其他什么企图

没想到你把我当包袱

可悲的我还死不瞑目

我对自己说是时候醒来了

没未来的感情也该放弃了

抛开所有的不舍不再爱了

我相信未来一定是美好的

我是爱情里的白痴

憧憬童话中的故事

默念忘不掉的名字

不想面对残酷的现实

我是爱情里的白痴

期待不可能的故事

寻找到不了的地址

不愿看清悲剧的现实

写给她的一首歌

在人海中遇见你

是我今生最大的福气

从没有人能如此的贴心

当渐渐地了解你

知道你深藏心底的秘密

我感情汹涌泪就要决堤

看着你无辜的脸

写满了天真无邪

稚嫩的翅膀何时能飞上蓝天

或许梦想的终点

已经不会很遥远

但你却害怕世界无常的变迁

哦我亲爱的朋友

请你勇敢向前走

不要让未来被别人左右

哦我亲爱的朋友

继续走就别回头

世界还很大你还没看够

哦我亲爱的朋友

人一定要有追求

你要相信梦想在向你挥手

哦我亲爱的朋友

我会一直陪你走

直到有天你已不再需要我

开心时会想起你

想跟你分享生活的美丽

你总对快乐充满了怀疑

看你难过会心疼你

怕你在夜里一个人哭泣

想给你肩膀安慰你的心

看着你清澈的眼

充满了稚气万千

柔弱的肩膀需要肩负这一切

其实未来的冒险

不一定会很危险

但你却不敢面对未知的明天

哦我亲爱的朋友

请你勇敢向前走

不要让未来被别人左右

哦我亲爱的朋友

继续走就别回头

世界还很大你还没看够

哦我亲爱的朋友

人一定要有追求

你要相信梦想在向你挥手

哦我亲爱的朋友

我会一直陪你走

直到有天你已不再需要我

谎言

当我们的昨天, 都已变成了谎言

不知道从哪天起, 你开始对我敷衍

不经意的流露出, 你已经觉得厌倦

我以为你想要多一点时间

来整理你纠结的思绪万千

却不知这一切都已改变

当我们的昨天, 都已变成了谎言

我的眼泪冲破防线

它在嘲笑我伪装的笑脸

当所有的昨天, 都已变成了谎言

我的心也不再眷恋

我的梦很浅泪水很咸

我应该从一开始, 就不要太过迷恋

给自己多点空间, 好过在爱里深陷

我以为我们可以走到永远

可以一直沉醉在爱里面

这一切都不过只是谎言

当我们的昨天, 都已变成了谎言

我的眼泪冲破防线

它在嘲笑我伪装的笑脸

当所有的昨天, 都已变成了谎言

我的心也不再眷恋

我的梦很浅泪水很咸

曾经幻想的未来已看不见

我将要开始一个人的明天