I was suffering like hell before this, had my "1 year anniversary"food poisoning last week. Only a few days later when I thought I have recovered, by forgoting that usually diarrhea takes at least one week to heal. Assam fish became the victim that triggered my diarrhea again. Tossing on my bed on Saturday midnight it was really killing me. There was nobody at home, I thought if I died my body could only be found at least 24 hours later.
I have to admit that I hate to fall sick when I'm thousands miles away from home, alone. That's the most vulnerable moment which makes you want to give up your dream to be a "drifter", willpower dropping to the bottom. I tried to ignore it and consoled myself no matter where we are, everybody falls sick, that's norm coz we are human beings. Therefore I prayed, whole-heartedly, asked help from God.
I tried to analyse how many percentage of the reason for my diarrhea is due to the tension, I don't know and my friend told me I would be perfectly well after the result is released. I don't think my mental is that fragile, I am strong enough to face a failure I guess, though 100% not willing to. Only thinking of repeating the same stuff for another 6 months already makes me sick, don't dare to imagine how am I gonna face it.
Luckily, God loves me, as He always does, he gave me a 51 to wake me up, no more mucking around!!! Yeah, sure, I have to put in more effort to ensure a much safer pass ( don't dare to dream about scoring, that's for psycho, not a playful kid like me, yet I'm never a perfectionist myself thus it's impossible for me to do it perfectly). However here really comes the alert! I'm doing Professional level, as the name suggests, it's "professional", no joke, and I'm hoping for a straight pass for all 14 papers, gotta do something to achieve that.
It's just the end of another battle, but the war is not over, to be precise, the real war has just started, previously those were all rehearsals. Mount Everest, only a few hundred metres away from the top, at the 8000 metres upper air, there is a secondary mount, plenty of climbers who can successfully climb up to there, however, only a handful of them could carry on the journey and reach the 8848 metres top. Because it's getting tougher, severalfold, at the top...
God bless I can make it.