My "last words"

Tomorrow is my first exam of ACCA June 2010 sitting, and, it's the most screwed up paper---Audit. I'm here to leave my "last words" before I go to hell tomorrow.

This is the first time that I spend the day before exam at home. Omg, I didn't notice that I've become a good girl =p There is something that has tamed me to certain extend. I must save all my energy for the up-coming holiday! Woohoo!....although still need to work, with a different mood cheers me up! Imagining itself already makes me can hardly close my mouth. Plenty of awaiting events and loads of fun! I'm gonna be back to reality, which feels good...

I promised Ah Jie to hunt the "tiger" and give her the fur as carpet. I will do my best. In the unfortunate event that I'm eaten up by it, save your sorrows and just wish me rest in peace.

God bless us all! =)

Goodbye, my friend

Everybody is in pursuit of their own happiness. Different people has different perception of the ultimate optimal living style. During half way, we may bump into each other, we may walked into somebody's life, accidentally, intentionally or inevitably. No matter how we got to know each other, no matter for what reason we appeared in each other's life, one thing important is, we have been through so many things together, we shared our dreams, our laughters and tears. I was lucky to have the opportunity to witness your biggest decision in life. I supported your transformation and was happy for you that you'd made it successfully. I have never thought that myself is entitled for such huge trust from somebody else like you. I was so flattered and really appreciated your love and your friendship. You have set out an excellent example for me. The so-called "teacher" actually learnt a lot from you. Thank you so much, for being there for me, always...

Goodbye my friend, I know you're gone you said you're gone but I can still feel you here. It's not the end...

逃...

我想要逃,逃离现在的生活,逃离现实,我想要躲在我自己乌托邦的世界里继续我的幻想.我不想长大,我不想上班,我不想读书,不想面对各种稀奇古怪的人和事,不想强迫我自己,但是生活却随时随地在强迫我们.每天一成不变的两点一线让我感到窒息,茫然,惶惑,恐慌.再加上拜某人所赐,在我空白到刺眼的生活中加入了一团团的黑墨,可惜他没有艺术天分,不能创作出一幅水墨山水画.

一个大衰神加上四面墙壁,把我淹没于无奈中,思绪如波涛汹涌,但真正提笔时,却不知该如何将感觉文字化,死钻在牛角尖里不肯出来,自讨没趣.下定决心,我要逃,就算只是两天都好,至少可以让我在被掐死之前呼吸一口新鲜空气,不管它可以持续多久,不管未来有多远,不想让心情让现实打败.

寂寞的逃亡

Down

Thought it should be a wonderful day today as I "pray hard" enough last night for our long due dinner. Although didn't hear from you until afternoon, I was filled with faith that I'm sure we're able to make it. Receiving the good news really made me fly, and brought the whole world to fly together with me.

With Ah Jie's fully support, I escaped 1 hour earlier than usual. Figuring out what's for dinner on my way out coz I've been staying at the same place eating the same food for God knows how many days. Repetitiveness made me choke. I guess from time to time, I do need a refreshment. However things didn't go on as I expected (which is normal), you texted again, saying dinner is cancelled due to some other stupid fella held you for work. I suddenly fell from heaven to hell, got up from the seat at the bus stop, for a second I felt lost, luckily the bus hasn't come yet. For the very first time, if my memory is still functioning well, it's your first time to say "sorry" to me. I didn't blame you,as I totally understand it's got nothing to do with you, just that I felt very down...

Is it everybody who involved with that particular kind of job is so freaking asshole? I really needed to escape for a while, the boredsome and non-stop weird dreams made me suffocated, so I decided to chill alone.

Are we gonna live like dogs for the rest of our life?

Rhythm of the rain

五一劳动节,也是我的第一个真正意义上的"双休日",爽得不是一般,昨天在朋友的订婚宴上忙活折腾了一晚上,今天终于得以睡到自然醒,然后像无头苍蝇一样在屋里转悠,东摸摸西搞搞也是自得其乐,至少我可以暂时不用去想学习和工作,那些杀我白细胞的人和事,不用迎合讨好任何人,全天下就只有我自己一个!

傍晚出去买东西,出门的时候已经开始飘毛毛雨了,但是我却故意没有带伞,心想就算淋雨也无所谓,好久没淋雨了,享受一下也无妨.老天还真给面子,买东西买到一半就开始有黄豆大的雨点打在我身上了,过了不到一分钟就开始下得稀里哗啦了.路上的行人都在飞奔找地方避雨,只有我,聪明得很,拿一个塑料袋把手机包起来,然后就开始了我的雨中漫步.

当整个世界都在疾驰的时候,你一个人把自己置身事外,放慢脚步来冷眼旁观欣赏也是别有一番情趣.世界没有变,变的是我们.心情不好的时候,不管外面多么的艳阳高照,心里却永远是阴天.如果放下一切,以旁观者的心态来处事,可能就算天踏下来你也是心如止水的.

若干年前璇烨在同学录中写道:rain won't you tell her that i love her so,please ask the sun to set her heart aglow. 有人说喜欢怀旧代表你已经开始衰老,我不知道是不是真的,但是我向来都是怀旧的人,看旧照片都会惹得满腹轻愁.过于多愁善感也不是好事,这就是林妹妹死得比薛宝钗早的原因.

雨中漫步真的很潇洒,纵使近来收到很多朋友的提醒,说因为欧洲火山灰飘到亚洲地区,会引发酸雨,所以最好不要淋雨,否则容易患皮肤癌.酸雨?对于来自雾都的我而言一点都不稀奇,真不知道重庆的雨有几场是不酸的,三千万子民照样活得消遥自在.街边店铺里的人都盯着我看,可能以为我是疯子.没关系,这个世界上,除了疯子就是傻子.和傻子比起来,我倒宁愿当疯子.

别人笑我忒疯癫,我笑他人看不穿.

The technicolour phase

I am the red in the rose, the flowers on the blankets on your bedroom floor

And I am the gray in the ghost, that hides with your clothes behind your closet door

I am the green in the grass that bends back from underneath your feet

And I am the blue in your back-alley view where the horizon and the rooftops meet

I am the black in the book, the letters on the pages that you memorize

And I am the orange in the overcast, a color that you visualize

I am the white in the walls that soak up all the sound when you cannot sleep

And I am the peach in the starfish on the beachthat wish the harbor wasn’t quite so deep...

聚散终有时

原本是朋友的一篇博客标题,被我"抄袭"了过来. 在身强体壮了很久之后,我终于生病了, 忘记抬头看看月亮是不是变成了蓝色, 不然我的病来如山倒是从何而来?昨天下午拖着已经不属于我自己的身躯回到家,倒在床上直到今天早晨,才觉得似乎捡回来半条命. 今天仍然一脸菜色, 原本单薄的身体更加显得飘逸, 真的是一阵风都可以把我吹倒. 本来就没什么血色的面容, 如今更是枯黄憔悴. 我都不忍心看镜子, 怕会触动我的自怜, 天, 我又成了一身排骨!

今天很乖的在家考试, 可能在昏沉状态下会发挥得更好吧, 希望这次不会再被人家F了. 突然收到一个因为忙碌很久没见面的老朋友的信息, 她说她下个月要去台湾, 走之前想见我. 我叫她记得多拍点照片回来给我们看. 可是让人心碎的事情发生了, 她说她是要去台湾定居, 不是去旅行. 这对于我而言像是晴天霹雳. 我从来没有想过她会就这样离开我的身边. 平时虽然也不是常常见面, 但是我心里清楚,她和我在同一个城市, 只要我愿意, 不需要一个小时就可以出现在她面前. 可是现在, 几千公里的路程,而且是在那个****的台湾(我不做评价). 哎, 又一个人要离开我了. 是不是有一天大家都会离开呢?

突然间我觉得很没有安全感, 当整个世界都离开我的时候会是什么样子? 虽然离愁别绪我经历过很多, 但总有一些人的离开会让我们心痛. 可不管我们愿不愿意, 所有人最终都会成为我们生命中的过客, 就连自己的人生伴侣也是, 要么我先离开这个世界, 要么是他先走, 最后总归有人会被抛弃的. 那么, 究竟有没有永恒? 除了上帝的爱是永恒的之外, 在人间应该没有什么东西是永远的, 所以, 当我们拥有的时候就要珍惜, 不管是亲情, 友情, 爱情, 某个人一句亲切的问候, 一个关怀的眼神, 或是一顿愉快的午餐, 一次短暂的相聚, 抑或是一次争论一次口角, 都是一种记忆, 一种过了就不会再有的经历, 虽然不全是鲜艳的, 但都有着各自的色彩, 谁说冷色调就不是一种美? 只是取决于观看者的审美观而已.

TQC在我离开的时候曾经说, 天下没有不散的筵席, 重要的是我们在筵席上留下了什么. 朋友, 一切顺利!